LB (not missing a beat in his quest for world domination): Oh, Mummy! We started a new unit in Health.
LRH: Oh, yeah. What is it?
LB: Puberty.
LRH: Right. (aside to SG) I thought he already did puberty?
SG: (aside to LRH) You have to do it more than once.
LRH: And what about puberty?
LB: Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
SG: Infections. They're called Sexually Transmitted Infections.
LB: Diseases, Infections. Same thing.
SG: Not really. A disease is...
LRH(putting a quick halt to the bickering and trying to get the conversation back on track): What about Sexually Transmitted Infections?
LB: How to prevent them.
LRH: And how do you prevent them?
SC (starting to get anxious about the direction this was going): Okay, okay, can we stop this.
LRH: (to SG) Shush. (to LB) And how do you prevent them?
LB: Don't have sex.
SG: Stop talking.
LRH: What's another way to prevent them?
SG: Stop talking now.
LB: Don't have unprotected sex.
LRH: And what is unprotected sex?
SG: Really?! Do we need to talk about this?
LB: Not putting on a condom.
LRH: And where does a condom go?
SG: STOP TALKING NOW!!!
LB: On your penis.
LRH: Right you are.
SG: Oh. My. God. Can you just shut up about this?
LRH: Just doing my job. Just doing my job.
End Scene
You gotta take these moments when they come along.
Brilliant! L and I were walking the dogs in the woods a few years back (he must've been 12 or so) when we got on to discussing representations of women in popular culture and how they're so often sexualised images. Very indignantly, he informed me that "Lara Croft's tits are air brushed in tomb raider". I had to chew my cheek to continue calmly :o)
ReplyDeleteI love that these conversations just occur naturally wherever you happen to be.
DeleteMy 11 year old nephew to his 13 yr old brother in a very conversational tone at a family breakfast - parents, aunties, grannies etc ' we learned about wet dreams, have you had one of them?'
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine the reaction of the grannies. Did they spit out their tea?
DeleteLove it!! We have had those moments and they are always accidentally hilarious, I find it so difficult not to snigger whereas the kids are always so composed and grown up :)
ReplyDelete