The Dog Whisperer

I'll be the first to tell you that I have not trained Dog to walk properly on the leash.  It's not for the want of trying.  We were at training courses when she was a puppy and even the trainers couldn't get her to walk at their side.  She always walks out in front, right at the end of the leash.   I live with it because she doesn't have any other bad habits.

Because I go for my walk at the same time along the same route, I see the same people and their dogs most days. 

There's Slow Walker and his even slower German shepherd plodding along in front of me;  there's the Man Who Looks like He Should Be an Englishman But Isn't and his very polite golden retriever called Dearie.  There's Colin and his yappy black cocker spaniel, Syd who always has a go at Dog. There's Recuperating Lady, who walks like she's recovering from back surgery, and her golden called Jessie. 

And then there's the Dog Whisperer.

The first few times I saw the Dog Whisperer, he was on the other side of the street, going in the opposite direction.  We'd shout "Morning" across the road and carry on with our walks.  Then one day, he was coming toward me on my side of the street and as he approached, he struck up a conversation.

"Do you ever watch the Dog Whisperer on tv? You know, Cesar Millan?  I watch him and he's really interesting."

"Yes", I answer cautiously because it is an odd way to start a conversation.  Now this guy doesn't look simple or like an axe murderer but you can never be sure.

"He says that dogs who go out in front like that (with a nod in Dog's direction)are dominant dogs and they like to be in charge of the pack."

"Fuck off.  Oh yeah?"  I mean, what do you say to that?

"I like dogs but I've had a few bad experiences so I'm a bit cautious." 

"Right. Well, you just never know, do you."  All this time, Dog has totally ignored this guy.  She having a good sniff at some other dog's pee.  She keeps looking around at me as if to say, Who is this arsehole and why are you talking to him?  He is interrupting my walk.  Tell him to fuck off.

"I don't have a dog myself."

Ok, now I'm done with this idiot and decide to move on.

"Well, have a nice day, you twat. Don't bother me again with your bullshit." and I drag Dog away from the pee and continue on my walk. 

Who does that?   It's like telling a stranger they're raising their kids all wrong.   

Fortunately, Dog Whisperer will avoid us if he sees us coming.  That suits me fine;  I don't have to pretend to control my dominant dog.