Somebody Save Me from Low-rise Jeans

I have wasted  spent the last couple of evenings going back-to-school shopping with Girl.  Yes, I do realize that school started a week ago but it was too damn hot to be in the mall with 5,000 other people trying on long pants and sweaters.  And I have been caught in the I-love-this,-can-I-get-it?-only-to-have-it-never-be-worn-because-nobody-else-has-one trap too many times to know that we wait and see what the trends seem to be before we go shopping. 

She had prepared a list of the things she had to have or she would be a social outcast needed and it seemed simple enough;  tank tops (for layering), long sleeved shirts and jeans.  How hard could that possibly be?  Didn't every third store sell these things?  And they were all the same price and same crap quality, so we didn't have to really shop, just try things on.  Mm. Easier said than done.

Girl has very specific tastes in clothes.  No lace, except on a tank. No writing or pictures on the top.  No embellishments on the back pockets.  No flowers anywhere.  Skinny jeans only. No boot cut, no flare, no skinny flare (whatever that is).  And dark wash or black, not the faded ones or ripped ones or the ones that look like you wiped your pants with a bleach-soaked cloth.  Oh, and they have to be low-rise.  This is not a problem because YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING ELSE.

I do not like low-rise jeans.  I do not like to see the crack of people's arses or the colour of their thong when they bend down. People walk about town trying to pull them up.  I assume this means the jeans are uncomfortable sitting that low.   I don't think they suit anybody unless you have the body of a 12 year old boy because even if you are the skinniest thing in town, you still have a waist. And if your pants sit below your waist, you can't help but have a muffin-top.  But you cannot find a pair of mid-rise, skinny jeans anywhere. I know because I've looked.  They don't make them. 

One day some bright light in the fashion industry will finally come to her senses and realize that low-rise jeans are indeed a scourge on humanity.  In the meantime,  I'll wonder around the jean section muttering to myself.

So Girl got her dark wash, skinny bloody low-rise  jeans.  And her tanks (black, white and 3 shades of gray), and long-sleeved shirts (gray and something that might be described as oatmeal).  Yawn.

But that's it done for another year.  Or until she grows.  Or until low-rise jeans fall out of style.  And that can't come a minute too soon.